


ASTRAL PLANE

by The_Fifth_Marauder



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Ballie, F/F, One Shot, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29038899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fifth_Marauder/pseuds/The_Fifth_Marauder
Summary: ASTRAL PLANE (Noun) A place believed by some people to be where a person's spirit goes between dying and entering the spirit world.- Cambridge Dictionary***As Allie faces the end of her life, can she muster the courage to fight the biggest battle of all? Or will she be tempted to surrender herself willingly to Death, so she can be reunited for eternity with her one true love?This one shot takes place straight after the dramatic events of the season 8 finale, when Allie is stabbed by a desperate Judy, who will do anything to prevent being extradited to the US.
Relationships: Allie Novak/Bea Smith
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	ASTRAL PLANE

Allie slowly opened her eyes. The cold, concrete floor pressed hard against the right side of her battered body, but that didn’t matter anymore, for she could no longer feel any pain. A fellow prisoner wearing a dark blue baseball cap now caught her attention, as they stood before her holding a shiv in their hand.

_It’s Lou. Lou Kelly killed me. And you know what? I don’t care, anymore. If I had the energy, I’d thank her, for she’s done me a favour and relieved me from the burden of my pathetic and mundane life. You want the job of Top Dog? Congratulations, it’s all yours!_

As Allie lay dying in a pool of her own blood, she closed her eyes for the last time, and thought of Bea.

**** **** ****

Allie woke with a startle, cocooned within the covers of her bed. She sat upright and observed her bleak surroundings: the usual teal-coloured walls, the ugly beige doona, and the corkboard minus its colourful pictures and photos. She concluded the absence of any personal effects meant this wasn’t her cell, nor was she hospitalised in Medical.

_Where am I? Was it all just a horrible nightmare?_

No, she’d been stabbed, she was sure of it. She leaned over and carefully dabbed the open wound on the right side of her lower back, expecting her fingers to be drenched in blood, but there was none.

_How long has it been since my attempted murder? Yesterday? Last week? Or maybe it was several months ago and I’ve just woken up from a coma?_

It didn’t matter, for she felt no punctures, not even a raised bump from a fading scar. The cream-coloured silk robe with its pretty floral pattern, was devoid of any blood stains and the fabric was still intact. No evidence to prove her fatal stabbing in the shower block, yet the memory was real.

_Or was it?_

“Hello?” Allie raised her voice loud enough for anyone within earshot. She swung her bare feet onto the ground and walked out into the unlit communal area, surprised at the lack of lighting. “Booms? Judy? Mighty Mouse?”

“It’s just you and me, my beautiful girl.”

Allie jumped in fright at the familiar voice.

_No! It can’t be!_

The light flickered to life, and Bea stood at the kitchen sink, stirring two cups of coffee. “Here,” she held out a cup. “Looks like you could use this.”

Allie ran to the closed gate and pulled upon it frantically, but it was locked. Without giving a second thought, she hit the panic button, but it failed to make its usual wailing sound to alert the officers.

“Back in my day, we rarely hit that button,” Bea called out from behind. “Glad to see things have relaxed a little since then.”

“Mr Jackson!” Allie screamed into the darkened corridor, rattling the gate, hoping to make as much noise as possible. “Miss Miles! Please, help me!”

“I’m the only one who can hear you.”

“This can't be happening,” Allie muttered to herself. She held her breath and slowly turned around, half hoping she had seen an apparition and it had now disappeared. But no, she watched as Bea strolled over to the table and placed the two cups down on its laminex surface. “Are you real?”

“You should know given you’ve called me in here.”

“Me? But how?” Allie held a look of fear upon her face as a thought struck her. “Am... am I... _dead?_ ”

“No, not yet. Your spirit is transitional between the real world and the spiritual world, known as an Astral Plane, in which its appearance is different for every person.”

“So mine is H1? Cause even though it looks like my unit, it feels like it’s made up.”

“To an extent, it is. You created this as your safe place where you’re in complete control. No harm can come to you whilst you’re in here.”

“Then I’m not imagining it? I really was shived and now I’m dying?”

“Yes, but it needn’t be that way. The final decision rests with you.”

“I’m dying,” Allie mumbled out loud as she held her hand up against the wall to steady herself. “Yet you make it sound like I have an option?”

“Of course you do. You can take my hand and I will guide you safely to the other side, or you can opt to leave via the gate and go back to the life you’ve left behind.”

“You mean the same gate which is currently locked?”

“Are you sure? Or did you lock it to make the decision easier for yourself?”

“Prisoners don’t have swipe cards, so drop these sick mind games!” Allie shouted, pointing at the gate, which was now wide open. “What the fuck? Look, I don’t know who you are, or what you want, but you’re not Bea Smith because she’s dead!” She rushed at Bea and pushed her hard in the chest, but she barely flinched. Allie held her hands up to examine them, stunned she could make physical contact. “What _are_ you?”

“Were you expecting your hands to go through me like some sort of ghost?”

“I was expecting... I don’t know what I was expecting, but you can’t possibly be...”

Bea stepped forward and reached out, lightly touching Allie’s cheek. “You know _exactly_ who I am.”

The radiance she felt the moment Bea’s hand glided over her skin, made Allie gasp. She closed her eyes and the memories of the love they shared in their short time together came flooding back, overwhelming her. “You’re real,” she whispered, a quiver in her voice as she surrendered herself to the tears.

“Very much so, my beautiful girl.” Bea leaned in and greeted Allie’s full lips with her own, tasting the salt from Allie’s fallen tears. “I love-”

“No!” Allie shouted once more and pushed her away. “Don’t you dare say those words to me! If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have confronted Ferguson and she wouldn’t have killed you!” Allie collapsed to her knees at Bea’s feet, and slapped the floor with the palms of her hands, crying hysterically. “Why did you leave me? _Why?_ ”

Bea crouched down on her haunches and held both Allie’s wrists before she could hurt herself. “Because I thought you were going to die, and it was the only way we could be together again.” She moved her hand and gently placed a finger under Allie’s chin to lift it so they could see face-to-face. “I didn’t want to live without you.”

“Then it’s my fault you died,” Allie said in-between sobs. “If I hadn’t pursued the relationship, you’d still be alive.”

“Search your heart, Allie. You know deep within that’s not true and that I love you.”

“I... I do,” Allie confessed, as Bea cradled her close to her chest. “But now I’m afraid to close my eyes in case I open them to find you’ve left me again.”

“I never left you and have always been watching over you.” Bea pulled several blonde strands of hair away from Allie’s tear-stained face. “You’ve been incredibly brave and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.” She lifted herself up from the ground and held a hand out to help Allie to her feet. “Come with me, we have much to talk about.”

“Wait, did you hear that?” Allie looked back towards the gate. “It sounded liked... whisperings?”

“No, I didn’t hear anything,” Bea replied as she led Allie into the nearest cell.

 _Bea’s cell._ Allie thought to herself as she recognised the familiar setting. _The only place I’ve ever felt safe._

The tiny space was basked in a warm glow from the night light beside the bed, and Allie noted with fondness the old red blanket draped over the mattress. She knelt upon it to gain a closer look at Bea’s sketches pinned to the corkboard – the same pictures which were burned as punishment, when Allie had foolishly challenged Joan Ferguson. To her delight, she spotted the one photo of Debbie, which Bea had treasured when she was alive.

“You’re reunited with your daughter!” Allie said with glee.

“That’s right. She’s just as perfect now as she was in that photo and having her here with me, makes it a little easier not being with you.” Bea seated herself on the bed, noticing the tattoo on Allie’s inner wrist, and gently traced the outline of the seahorses. “Two seahorses entwined so they won’t lose one another.”

“You remembered?”

“How could I ever forget?” Bea rested her head upon the pillow and patted the blanket, inviting Allie to join her. “There’s a reason you’ve summoned me here, isn’t there?”

“How did you know?” Allie asked as she laid down facing Bea.

“Because I can feel your sadness and it troubles me. Tell me, what’s weighing you down so heavily?”

“It’s me. I’ve made so many stupid mistakes since I became top dog.”

“Such as?” Bea stroked a comforting hand up and down Allie’s arm.

“I lost control and nearly killed someone I once loved, because I blindly refused to believe she was innocent. The scariest part is I wanted to hurt her so badly for her past mistakes.”

“That would be Marie Winter?” Allie nodded, surprised that Bea knew who she was. “Unfortunately, being in charge doesn’t come with a rule book. You’re forced to learn on the job.”

“Yeah, but I bet your actions didn’t lead to the near-death of an inmate.”

“No, far worse. I _killed_ them,” Bea reminded her. “I’d made my fair share of mistakes and listened to the wrong people. Sometimes I had no idea if I was making the right decision, but figured as long as I didn’t turn out like my predecessor, Jacs Holt, I was heading in the right direction.”

“Jacs Holt? Didn’t she get her heavies to keep the women in line if they didn’t conform to her ideals?”

“The one and only. That bitch still thinks her shit doesn’t stink, but at least she’s not so high and mighty anymore.”

“You... you see her?”

“Not my choice, although I enjoy stirring her by asking to borrow her pen whenever she’s doing a crossword.” Bea snorted loudly.

“But that would mean you’d see Kaz, right?” Allie asked hopefully.

“Yeah, we’ve been known to hang out together. Kaz is a lot more chilled now, you know? She also acknowledges she never understood the sacrifices I made until after I died. Only then did she realise how hard it is to be an effective top dog.”

“I really messed things up with her,” Allie conceded. “I didn’t even apologise for the way I treated her, nor tell her that I loved her.”

“I'm sure she knows. She said to say she’s delighted at how you’ve turned out and is pleased you’ve maintained her stance at not being afraid to use the panic button.”

“She does? Where is she? Can I talk to her?”

“She’s not here because you only asked for me, but I will pass on your message.”

“What about the others? Like Maxine? We never heard from her after the transfer to Barnhurst for her treatment and therefore assumed the worst.”

“I haven’t seen her, although as far as I’m concerned, it’s a good thing.”

“Does that mean she’s still alive?”

“Yes, however, I’m not sure what’s become of her, but I feel her contentment with life – it travels within me. I like to think she’s free.” Bea smiled to herself. “Dear Maxine, my best friend. Loyal until the end, and I hope it’s a very long time before we meet again.”

“And Liz? Do you see her? Because her death left Boomer devastated.”

“Not a day goes by without Liz mentioning how selfless and courageous Boomer is for ending her suffering. Tell Boomer not to feel any guilt, for Liz is now free from pain, and more important, she’s finally at peace with herself. But she sends her love and apologies to Boomer for surrendering her freedom, giving no thought to her own needs.” Bea noticed Allie's sudden distraction. “What's wrong?” 

Allie sat up, straining to decipher the same whisperings she’d heard earlier. “They’re back.”

“The voices?”

“Yeah, but they still sound distant and now they’ve gone again. Maybe I’m just imagining them.” She laid back on the pillow, placing both hands behind her head for support and looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought for a couple of minutes.

“Hey, you now seem a million miles away. Tell me what’s going through your mind?”

“What’s on the other side? Should I be scared of dying?”

“It’s a beautiful place,” Bea smiled warmly at her. “I promise there’s nothing to fear.”

“How did you know I’m stuck in this Astral thing?”

“ _Astral Plane_. Because I experienced it with my daughter when I was alive.”

“Was that when Ferguson tried to kill you in the kitchen?” Bea nodded, and Allie leaned up on her elbow, facing Bea once more. “Where did you go?”

“I remember breaking through the waves at the beach and was treading water, when I saw Debbie standing on the shoreline, yelling out to me to join her. I tried to swim to her, but she disappeared and the strong undercurrents pulled me under. After I’d regained consciousness, I’d learned that you and Mr Jackson performed CPR on me, bringing me back from my Astral Plane.”

“So we decided for you, effectively robbing you of being reunited with Debbie?”

“No, you delayed the inevitable, for which I am grateful because I got to spend more precious time with you.”

“But I still lost you in the end,” Allie sighed heavily. “We’ve lost a lot of good people over the years, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, we have. Which is why you need to ask yourself if it’s necessary to add yourself to that tally when you have another option open to you.”

“I’m not convinced anyone would miss me.”

“I’m sure Boomer, Ruby, and even Marie would disagree with you.”

“After the total mess I’ve made of things, their confidence in me must be zero, and who could blame them?” Bea reached up and wiped away Allie’s fresh tears. “Look at me, feeling sorry for myself again. I’m weak, aren’t I?”

“No, quite the opposite, and you need to stop being so harsh on yourself.”

“Here I was thinking I wasn’t harsh enough.” Allie relaxed, snuggling close to Bea, her tears dampening Bea’s teal t-shirt.

“Kaz reckons your leadership style is a mixture of both her and me.”

“She does?”

“Yes, and I’m inclined to agree with her. It takes time to settle in, but once you hit your stride, we believe you’ll be a better top dog than either of us.”

“You wouldn't say that if you knew all the poor decisions I keep making.”

“Marie was not your fault.”

“It’s not just Marie. What made me think being top dog could enable me to fix things? And on the rare occasion I make a good call, there’s always someone ready to object and bite my head off. People are never happy.” Bea laughed and Allie looked up at her. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing’s changed since I ran the show. Sometimes I used to think the only difference between being top dog and governor, is that they got paid for the hassle.”

“How did you cope?”

“Sometimes I didn’t. Maxine recognised my struggles and would pick me up when I needed it most. But I’d take it one day at a time until it eventually became too much to bear, and it wore me down.”

“Which led to cutting yourself?”

“Exactly. The constant battle to stop drugs, punishing the girls for getting out of line, the bitching... the backstabbing. Trying to juggle all that shit and silently grieve for my daughter... fearing people would see me as weak... I hated being top dog.”

“Why did you persevere?”

“Because the women needed someone willing to step up and represent them. To be their voice and be heard, even if they didn’t always appreciate it. Plus, there was always that one person who makes it their mission to bust your chops because they’re convinced they can do a better job than you.”

“Yeah, I understand what you mean. Everyone’s a fucking critic.”

“But then you entered my life, and it was then I realised I never wanted nor needed the job. The day Kaz challenged me and I walked away, was the best decision I ever made – besides allowing myself to fall hopelessly in love with you.”

“Maybe I should step down, too?”

“You need to decide whether being top dog is for you, and if it is, then do it for the right reasons. Only then will your path be cleared of unnecessary obstacles, and you’ll be able to see what’s in front of you.”

“The only thing I know for certain, is that it was Lou who stood there holding the shiv which condemned me to death.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. She’s been a constant thorn in my side since the first day she was admitted into Wentworth. Why? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“One thing I’ve learnt, is that sometimes it’s the ones you least suspect, are in fact your biggest threat and therefore your greatest enemy.”

“Are you suggesting Lou isn’t my greatest enemy at present?”

“No, I’m saying certain situations and people aren’t always what they appear at first. Take Lou, for instance. Surely an injury like the one you’ve sustained has to leave a lot of blood behind. Was there any blood on Lou’s clothes or the shiv?”

“I... I don’t know.” Allie struggled to recall the scene. “I don’t _think_ so.”

“These details are important. Try to recreate the scene in your head and break it down. Did she wear gloves?”

Allie pondered for several moments before replying. “No gloves. I remember she wore her teal windcheater, but there definitely wasn’t any blood. Wait... are you saying Lou is innocent?”

“Nah, she was coming for you, but someone else got there first. The question is who? Keeping an open mind can uncover hidden truths, but remember, the result may not be what you want to hear.”

“Great. You think I should avoid her, don’t you?”

“Lou was in J Block when I first came to Wentworth, but I had heard the brutal stories. Look, all I’m saying is if you plan to go to war with her, make sure you have your facts straight because she will fight to the death.”

“Okay, so how do I fight back when I’m not sure who to trust? If what you say is true, then I don’t even know who my real enemies are.”

“Listen to your instincts and lean on the people who have always been there for you, like Boomer, Ruby... even Marie.”

“Marie? She’s only concerned for her own hide.” Allie scoffed. “Besides, Lou would kill her if she switched sides.”

“Don’t underestimate her. She saved your life by pressing the panic button that time when Lou and her crew taught you a lesson. When it comes down to it, she’ll never want to see you come to any harm.”

“I hope you’re right, but it doesn’t alter the fact that my instincts are shit. How do I fix that?”

“Not necessarily. Your instincts towards Ferguson is spot on. You are right not to trust her, and even if she isn’t faking her amnesia, she can’t hide within Kath Maxwell forever. She’ll resurface, and when she does, Lou will be the least of your concerns.”

“You’re not exactly filling me with confidence to want to return to the land of the living.” Allie sighed. “I don’t know, maybe it will be easier if I take your hand? At least we can be together again.”

“I understand the temptation, but can you accept that you’ll be walking away from those you care for most?”

“The only person who matters, is lying beside me. But you’re right, I can’t abandon my friends. Not only would I be quitting on them, but on myself, too.” Allie lifted herself off the bed and walked over to the entrance of the cell. “The gate is still open - just the way I left it before.” She waited for Bea to join her. “I’m hearing those voices again. I have to go now, don’t I?”

“Yes, but you’ve known all along where you belong. You just needed time to figure out where you fit in.”

Allie nodded. “Yet it doesn’t change the fact that I still want to be with you, to touch you... to _feel_ you again. Because sometimes the memories aren’t enough.”

“It’s not your time. I promise we’ll be together again, but not now.” Bea held Allie’s hands in her own. “You still have unfinished business with your life.”

“Will you wait for me?”

“I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Never forget that I’ll be with you wherever you go. But you’ve got this – I believe in you.”

Allie embraced Bea; their lips moulded perfectly upon one another, like it was their last time. Because, in a sense, it was. “Kind of wish I’d opted for the storage room in the kitchen, instead of your cell,” Allie quipped, as she released Bea from her hold. “You looked so damn cute with all your hang-ups and insecurities.”

“Cheeky little shit!” Bea replied, trying to suppress a wide grin. “Get the fuck out of here before I make you change your mind.”

“Ugh, Bea! I get it!” Allie rolled her eyes. “You still want me badly after all this time.”

“Yeah, lucky for you that will never change.”

Allie took several steps towards the gate, stopping to glance at her lover with much affection. “I love you Bea.”

She stepped through the gateway, venturing out into the corridor and strode with a newfound purpose towards the distant light. With each step, the light brightened, and she could hear the strange voices getting louder and with clarity as they directed her the way home. Allie took one last look behind her and smiled as Bea stood at the gate, waving her goodbye.

“I’ll be here to greet you when you’re ready,” Bea called out to her. “I love you, my beautiful girl.”

**** **** ****

“C'mon, Allie, wake up,” the doctor said, as he pushed aside one of the machines to get closer to the hospital bed.

Allie woke in a coughing fit, her attempts to rip the breathing tube from her mouth hindered by two nurses who were busy tending to her and offering reassurances she would not die.

 _Yes, I’m going to live,_ Allie promised herself. _With the help of those I trust,_ _I have a job to do, and the women need their top dog back. But this time I’ll win the war because I have one thing my enemies lack: Bea Smith, my soulmate, whose love and strength course throughout my body, and walks alongside me every step of the way._

Look out, we're coming to get you.


End file.
